Season 1, Episode 10
By the time he hit senior high, Shun had a pretty clear idea of who his parents were.
Despite having looked up to them as a child, worshipping the ground they walked on, even he was forced to recognize sooner or later that there was something not quite right with his parents.
Still, they were his parents, and he was prepared to accept them for who they were.
That is, until this happened.
When this happened, he found out that his parents didn’t just fall under the abnormal category, they were literally crazy.
“Ahem! Right. So, starting from today, Rosalie is a part of our family!”
“Awww, our little Shun’s all grown up! He’s finally got a girlfriend now!”
Grinning, Shun’s parents, Takashi and Manami, embraced each other in the before-tango position and threw their head backs.
Maniacal laughter sounded around the room.
“I’m not a girlfriend.”
From where she was sitting at the table, Rosalie chimed in to correct Shun’s parents.
“I’m his bride.”
Her tone of voice was perfectly serious.
Then, after making such a shocking statement, Rosalie turned back around to face the mountain of cream puffs on the table and proceeded to block out the rest of the world and stuff her face.
Amidst the munching and pheromones that Rosalie exuded, Shun felt the thudding in his head grow more pronounced with every passing minute.
A nice, solid painkiller would be good right now.
It seemed that Rosalie and his parents had really hit it off on the way to the National Assembly Hall.
And those cosy little get-to-know each other chats in the train had resulted in the worst, or best, possible arrangement – Rosalie and Shun were to now live together.
Well, that did solve a part of his problems at least. He really was rather worried about the whereabouts of Rosalie’s future living quarters.
“Oh my, what a lovey-dovey couple they are!”
“Rosalie dear, we will leave Shun to you from now on!”
“Mom, Dad, what are you saying?!”
This was bad. This was embarrassing.
They really could have done without that official handover.
“Why aren’t you suspecting her? Not even a little bit?”
“My, Shun, why would we? She is your bride.”
“Don’t give me that Mom! That’s the part where you really should start questioning already.”
“Oh Shun, come on. After all, she is so cute!”
If his parents’ answers got anymore inane, he would lose all his hair from over-frustrated pulling.
“Didn’t she come from a faraway country though?”
“Like, you know, when we were taking her to the National Assembly Hall she told us some stuff about her hometown and all, back in her country.”
Mrs. Manami’s vague statement only served to confuse her son more.
“And by ‘some stuff’ you mean…?”
“Oh, you know, just some things about heroes and Demon Kings and some dragon thing and… undead birds?”
“Are you serious– ?!”
“I mean, she is a little strange, but she is such an honest child. And so cute too!”
“Yes, definitely honest and cute.”
“Plus, she is your bride.”
“Your very own wife!”
This was followed by another bout of crazed laughter.
Shun felt faint.
Oh god, why in the world was he born to such parents?
He didn’t think that anyone sane would let Rosalie’s story go with just a passing ‘she’s just a little strange’ comment.
“Speaking of which, there was that huge accident at the National Assembly Hall right? Would you have had anything to do with it, Rosalie dear?”
“Oh my Mama, you say such interesting things! Well, how about it Rosalie-chan?”
Rosalie, it seemed, was still floating in her field of alpine flowers in cream puff dreamland, looking utterly content.
They’d probably not get an answer anyways.
Seeing that, Shun’s parents decided to take the smart way out and switch topics. Or at least that was what it seemed like to Shun, who would have been in major trouble should his parents have decided to pursue the previous conversion thread.
“Anyways Papa, where is Rosalie going to be sleeping?”
“They can just sleep together!”
“That’s right, Papa! After all, she is his bride!”
Shun was about to nod his head in agreement when the full load of what they said finally hit him.
“Are you guys crazy?! What did you just say?!”
He knew that he would explode someday. He just knew it.
“You can’t do that! I mean, you guys should already know that without me telling you. Argh! Can you actually use your brains for once? Come on people, start thinking maturely, like real parents. Leaving aside the problems about her accommodation, it’s an even baser problem than that right?”
Shun’s righteous outburst left him feeling breathless.
“… Son, could it be that you’re against this?”
His father broke the silence with one of his rare comments.
This was proceeded by an enquiry from Shun’s mother.
“My dear, do you not want Rosalie staying with us?”
Unbidden, images of Rosalie out on the street, people everywhere gawping at her in awe and barely concealed lewdness flashed in his mind.
It was true. Rosalie did not actually have anywhere else to stay.
Sigh, I guess there’s no choice.
Why, oh why, did his parents always drive him speechless?
His silence spoke volumes about his consent.
Twin grins found their way to his parents’ face.
“Hahaha! What a little tsundere(1) you are!”
“Don’t worry, Mama will go with you to apologize to Miko-nee as well!”
“Why are you involving Miko-nee in this too?”
And then –
“Dear me, what a child!”
His parents shrugged their shoulders in unison, while throwing him pitiful glances.
They would kill him someday. He’d be the first person in the world to die from over-annoyance.
Turning around, Shun’s father extended his next question to Rosalie.
“Rosalie, my dear, what about you? Do you have anything that you wish for?”
That seemed to have got through, if only because the creampuffs had all gone (Shun checked). Descending from flowery creampuff dreamland, Rosalie turned to face his parents. Chewing, savouring, and finally, swallowing that last bit of heavenly cream, Rosalie opened her stained mouth to answer him.
“There’s only one thing that I want here.”
Sitting up gracefully, Rosalie’s eyes met with Shun’s.
That impending sense of doom that rose in his heart was inevitable.
“As his bride, I wish to be legally married to Shun as soon as possible.”
If his feelings could be put into motion, Shun would totally be that one guy drowning in the darkness like from those old anime in the eighties.
His parents on the other hand, had quite a different reaction.
His father guffawed loudly.
His mother covered her mouth with her hand while exclaiming.
Both were indicators of extreme happiness.
God, just take me now.
“Well then, we’ll be looking forward to grandchildren soon if that’s the case, Rosalie-chan!”
“Good luck in fulfilling your wifely duties, Rosalie-chan! Want a coffee?”
“Oh look, Shun, she nodded!”
“To the coffee!”
“… Let’s get going, shall we Mama? Wouldn’t want to put a break on Japan’s measures to increase the national birth rate after all.”
“Oh Papa, what a wonderfully sinister way you have of looking at things!”
“Yes indeed. And while we’re at it, why don’t we find ourselves an accommodation too and get on with–”
“Stop it, Papa! We shouldn’t talk about these things that would further traumatize our adolescent son.”
“Shun, before we leave, do you have any questions for us?”
“Yeah, I do – What?!”
“What is this ‘coffee’?”
Shun screamed out in frustration while the voice in his heart echoed in the silence.
From somewhere, came the muted muttering of a girl.
“Kanda Shun, huh? For it to be a student from the same school, of all people, to have caused such a mess.”
While her voice contained a note of surprise, her gaze remained cool as she surveyed the damage from afar.
“Coping and processing should take us up till morning, and then later I’ll have to have a chat with that guy when I get to school. Right, so that’s my first all-nighter, planned out.”
And with that, she drew in a deep breathe.
The way she spoke of it, it was as if that incident at the National Assembly Hall, one on a scale which history had never seen or heard of before, was only about as important as her beauty sleep.
Something was up.
(1) tsundere – Japanese character development in which the subject is initially cold and even hostile towards another person before gradually warming up.